Wednesday, May 21, 2008

let's play Twister, everybody!

As if life weren't exciting enough, we had a tornado yesterday. It went like this.

::sirens going off::

Me: Huh? Guess I should check weather.com... TORNADO?!?!?!!

(I call my parents, the Weather People. Because if you're over 52, you're watching the weather.)

Me: Do you guys know anything about a tornado?
Mom: Yeah, but it's going to miss you.
Me: Awesome. It looks normal out there. Guess we'll just hang out. ::shrug::

(15 minutes pass, sky turns dark, demons begin to screech as the undead reign from hell, rain starts, trees are lashing, thunder peals, lights go out)

Me: Time to get the baby and the flashlight and go to the basement!
Storm: Yeah, you think, idiot? HOWL!
Me: Thank goodness I bought those flashlights last month, and thank goodness I have this awesome laptop with a fully-charged battery, and thank heavens for this new Little People DVD that will keep my child from climbing daddy's weight bench and eating all the dead spiders in this nasty, foot-smelling jiujitsu dungeon.
Cleo: LITTLE PEOPUZZ!$%^%$$#!!!!

(time passes as we watch Little People and make Elmo's shadow dance on the wall)

Me: I heard a door open upstairs... WE'RE BEING LOOTED!!!!
Craig: Hello?
Me: Did you not get my 2 emails, text message, and 3 phone messages that said "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STAY WHERE YOU ARE, IT IS LIVING HELL OUT THERE!!!"?
Craig: No....
Me: You should maybe check those things every now and then. How was driving through a tornado?
Craig: IT WAS SUPER COOL! Like, trees are down everywhere, and people are off-roading!
Me: Well, i'm just glad you're safe. And, no, you're not going back out on your motorcycle.
Cleo: MORE LITTLE PEOPUZZ???!!!!!!

(We are without power until around 11:30...)

Me: Well, here we are. Pregnancy insomnia, 13 hours behind on sleep, teething toddler, tornado, $150 worth of groceries going bad in the fridge, I can't watch Venture Bros. to get to sleep, and it's so hot that i'm laying in the pitch black, staring at a flashlight and sweating. This does not bode well. "Dear Cobb EMC, Sirs, I am not pleased..."

::lights squeak back on::

Me: HALLELUJAH!!!
Cleo: (sleepily) ...watch Little Peopuzz?

So that was our night. I am so, so thankful for electricity. And hot running water. And the fact that our property suffered no damage, when we could still hear chainsaws and fire trucks blaring at midnight through the open windows.

And the fact that my new batch of lime popsicles didn't melt a single bit.

It's gonna be a good day.

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