Saturday, February 2, 2008

I'm freakin' out, man!

Just for kicks, I googled my childhood name (Missy Southard), and found some hilarious things, including:

1. "The New Missy", a blog about one woman's quest to lose weight by using Weight Watchers and giving up soda, fast food, and blizzards. She also details her dramatic ex-roommate and ex-boyfriend issues.

2. My 2005 art exhibit proudly mentioned on the website of my elementary school alma mater.

3. Results for various races and marathons that I definitely did not run.

4. Church crap. Lots and lots of church crap.



Emile said...

I am a bit confused as to why your childhood name is not your adult name. Might I ask for some brief explanation of that? Also, I'm glad to hear you are better and still 5 fingered (10 total).

delilah said...

Okay. Back then, with no ultrasound, my parents were determined I would be a boy, and they were going to name me Calvin Benjamin Southard III, then call me "Bubba" as a nickname. When I came out female, they dropped their armloads of footballs and basketballs and realized they hadn't bothered to think of a female name. So they named me Delores Virginia after my two grandmothers. When they brought me home, they realized that naming a child Delores Virginia was kinda cruel, so they decided to call me "Missy" after a dog that lived down the street. Cuz *that's* not cruel at all. I hated my name growing up, especially the first day of school, where everyone laughed because my name was Delores Virginia, and then they got to laugh again when I had to explain to the teacher why she was supposed to call me Missy.

So when I started my first job after college, I decided I never wanted Missy on my business cards and chose a new name similar enough to Delores to work. I use Delores legally but go by Delilah.

Now don't I seem more like a Delilah than a Delores? Seriously!

Emile said...

Ahh, I see. Well, I think you've named yourself quite well. I don't know any other Delilahs, but you certainly seem like one and it's a lovely name. So, what do your parents call you now?

stinestrain said...

WOW. Now that is an interesting story about you. Your name is not only not originally Delilah it isn't originally Missy and it is Delores Virginia.

I'll put that in my back pocket until I figure out what to do with it.

stinestrain said...

ok I'm still reeling over this. I read the whole story to john.

that is way more fucked up than julie really being named ruth.

delilah said...

I am flabbergasted that no one has commented on the fact that I narrowly missed being named "Bubba".

BUBBA. Seriously. The thought makes me gladder than usual that I don't have testicles.

Emile said...

It's true - the Bubba part deserves wild commentary. I think I just couldn't process that part enough to respond to it. You? Bubba? No, it just doesn't compute ;)