Monday, January 28, 2008

et tu, Men's Health?

A long time ago, in a college town far, far away, I would find a discarded copy of Men's Health on top of the communal mail box once a month. Apparently, someone disdained the magazine so much that they just tossed it, still in the shiny wrapper, without opening it. So I opened one and found out why. It was so obviously written to appeal to gay men. The clothes and sex advice were awful, and the whole magazine had a "not for you, breeder" feel about it.

Then, a few years ago, Craig picked one up on a business trip (because an MMA fighter was on the cover, I believe), and we were both surprised at how far it had come. Better layout, interesting stories, great food and health advice, decent clothes, cover stories about celebrities we actually wanted to read. And we thought, Good for you, Men's Health!

Sadly, I can no longer vouch for Men's Health. They canceled our subscription when we moved, signed us up for the less interesting Best Life, and then canceled that subscription, too. They are hard to get on the phone, and the CSR I spoke to was rude, annoying, and without answers.

And, most recently, I learned that their recipes SUCK. As Maggie Simpson would say, suck-suck-suck. I tried 3 recipes in one magazine, and they were all awful. The asparagus au gratin was bad. The pasta with veggies was dull. And don't even get me started on the Chinese black rice. If I wanted to eat a greasy bowl of tasteless black beetles, I would by god purchase a greasy bowl of tasteless black beetles. Or start a mealworm colony, or something. Blech. And do they mention anywhere that black rice stains EVERYTHING? Cleo looks like she's been playing in an oil spill because she spit out the nasty black rice. Yeah, she's spitting out everything these days, but most of it doesn't look quite as nasty coming back out, like Baby Exorcist.

I'm trying to incorporate more vegetables into my life, because I know it's always been a sore spot for me. I'm trying to eat a sweet potato every day, plus a squash or packet of mushrooms or something new. And it's so tough. I'm just not big into veggies. I tried salad, but it never tastes good at home like it does at restaurants, which is annoying. I tried baking parsnips, but they just tasted like angry carrots, as mentioned in the previous emails. So I need to try more vegetables, find more things that I like.

Oh, but back to the point. Men's health can suck it. Goodnight and good luck.

No comments: