Today is a day marked by irony.
1. All I want to do is paint, but a) baby!, b) lack of heat gun and damar crystals, and c) boards are in the trunk of my car, in the garage with the blown light where I can't go because a) baby is sleeping and b) possible serial killer lurking in garage that planted strategically blown bulb. Seeing a very convincing Michael Myers costume last night did not help.
2. All I want to do is not eat and work out so that I can lose my last 10 pounds of baby weight, which I probably can't lose anyway, since i'm still nursing. But, a) forgot my workout bag today, and b) received a box of deviled chocolate cupcakes in the mail. This goal is also difficult considering the huge vat of white chicken chili in the fridge, the 12 mini candy bars leftover from Halloween, and the enormous box of apples my parents gave me because they couldn't say no to their annoying neighbor who was selling apples for the Elks.
3. Given that 1. and 2. are impossible, all I want to do is hole up in bed under two quilts between my husband and my peacefully snoozing cherub and watch season 2 of Chappelle's Show or Dr. Katz, but a) husband is in Minneapolis (Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh.... crap.), b) we can't find season 2 of Chappelle's show and theorize we lent it to the husband's old coworker who moved to DC and works for Fannie May, which is funny because he's gay, har har, and c) we don't own season 2 of Dr. Katz. Yet.
So, you see. There it is. Sweet irony. How sad is it that i'm one of the few Americans who wants to produce fine art, exercise my heart out, and be thin and virtuous, but my lousy consolation prize is the stupid internet?